Team Murder No Brain No Headache.

15Jun/05Off

Cat Kicking Jerk

Um, so I've been prodded once by IM and once by email to spill something bitter and pitch-like about the oh-so-totally ballyhooed Apple decision to go with Intel chips. I considered this a little less than a week ago all jet lagged and cranky and concluded that there really wasn't a whole lot to say. Apple has a symbiotic relationship with its adherents that transcends any notion of brand loyalty.

I've never seen a group of people so unwilling to get mad when they're obviously being screwed but absolutely jubilant about the slightest change or alteration to whatever Kool Aid they're shipping at the moment. I'm thinking that loyal buyers should all get a gratis copy of The Conquest of Cool (yeah, it isn't a direct link: scroll down the page and pretend it has a hundred and fifty half assed reviews attached to it) or some other consolation prize. I mean, people who are attempting to buy computers with an expected ideological lifespan of more than a year or two. You've been paying a premium for the veneer of edginess and performance and benchmarks that don't mean anything. In the Windows versus Macintosh holy war the switch to x86(?-64) might actually provide some accessible dirt clods for Mac partisans as at least their OS of choice will actually function on a 64 bit processor. Nothing new there at all but at very least a widget of 'difference' if you're playing along at home.

The reason that I don't think that there is a whole lot to say about the transition is that I don't take Apple very seriously as a computer company. They're doing a fine job of becoming the post-Sharper Image for financially solvent metrosexuals looking for tech credibility with the added cachet of a moving target. If you'd really wanted all of the things that Apple claims it's giving you in the promo spiel you'd have coseyed up to BeOS a long time ago and prevented that company from being eaten alive. Instead you've got your incredibly 'different' Ponzi-fied Dell that sells you on some nebulous personal lifestyle choice instead of giving you choice as a money wielding consumer with something to say to the world. Good luck with that.

Apple has always been fun to watch, though. I'm much less anxious about everything they do now that I no longer own one and don't have to babysit them. It seems less like a technology company and more like a Sociology senior field experience project. I'll always have a soft spot for that sort of thing in the same way that I really started appreciating Panda bears after watching that documentary about them and realizing that they're almost too absurd and ill adapted to even their own environment to really survive much longer as a species. The pandas depend on the patronage of the people around them and I guess Apple has the Ipod. Good luck with that.

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