Team Murder No Brain No Headache.

4Apr/06Off

Tricking You Into Feeling Like You’re An Active And Vital Part Of The Pet Rock Community Is Job One

The other day I overheard a pretty funny and truthful definition of podcast(ing) given from one dull knife in the drawer to another: "It's like streaming audio only it doesn't have to stream." Yup. Inert files that don't contain any magic that defines nearly any file available for download on the IntarWeb since there was, in the vernacular, an IntarWeb that doesn't have some piece of software associated with its mime type. I'm pretty much of the opinion that podcasts should have their own unique mime type if only to spare me the indignity of accidentally clicking on what appears to be a link to some of that crazy HTML stuff and instead getting blasted with yet another dose of someone babbling at me only in this case it doesn't originate from a cell phone conversation or a semi-coherent Acorn activist. For me, the purpose of an mp3 player is to give me a brief respite from the increasing number of people who don't know when to talk (never) and accordingly also lack the knowledge to know when to shut the fuck up (always). In any case, I thought I'd share that small nugget of wisdom culled from the seemingly unlimited resource of the idiot mind/mouth short circuit that is undeniably pure in the sense that it is unsullied by anything for more than a few minutes at a stretch and quite zen-like in its ability to reflect the circumstances of the world around it especially if that world is presented by television.

Anyway, the point here is to sort of introduce Derek Powazek's expression of the proper sentiments for the wrong reasons and why I think that users pontificating on their relative position to other users is next to worthless: Only the very best/worst of social networking sites maintain any audience at all and it isn't because of superior content. Jesus. You'd be lucky to find any fucking content at all in your average (and their number is legion) MySpace profile. Numbers matter which is part of the reason that MySpace is still kicking the ass of EggFly and other alternative efforts in a similar direction. Sure MySpace is constantly broken and is owned by Satan himself but everyone is already there, has learned to cope with the failure and mediocrity of the site (ColdFusion? Really?), and has limited their scope of use to maybe catching some underage boobies. There really isn't a whole interesting going on there and that makes it user generated content in the worst possible sense of the term like monkeys typing or the home page explosion on GeoCities way back when. No one gave a shit about what anyone else was doing with available resources but fiddled around until it became screamingly obvious that no one else in the universe cared except those who wrung a few bleak advertising dollars out of the mess. Eventually the tidal wave of laziness and apathy will catch up to Web2.0 and its pointless minions. Then we'll have to poke through the deserted wasteland of pointlessly tagged things, intricate maps that start somewhere uninteresting and terminate in limbo, and the Easter candy-like explosion of oversized type and pastel colors in hopes of extracting some lesson that wasn't pounded into skulls during the last fucking bubble. If you can keep the user in the loop and feeling like someone might care about all of this pointless crap they're making or that pinning a bunch of tags on otherwise unremarkable things like so many cardboard donkeys gaining so many paper tails, then just maybe your brilliant start up will survive the next week. Those chips? Cash those fuckers in while they're still worth anything at all.

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