Team Murder No Brain No Headache.

11Jul/07Off

Other People Hate It As Much As I Do

Just read another person's expression of distaste for having phone books delivered with no way to refuse them and I'm wondering if there isn't some legal way to combat this. You can't really classify phone book delivery as junk mail in the traditional sense as it isn't handled by the USPS or any other government or otherwise regulated service so formally complaining is an utter waste of time, as it is in most cases where no money has changed hands and the likelihood of money changing hands in the future is next to zero.

The part that utterly slays me about the whole sick cycle is that advertising dollars are raked in for a completely worthless exchange. I'd almost be willing to bet that the use of phone books (much less ten different flavors of them) has declined exponentially as years go by and the internet becomes more of an appliance-like utility and less of a mysterious series of tubes that funnels pornography to children and is powered by a furnace shoveled full of human souls. Are advertisers conscious that they're basically advertising exclusively to old people and info-highway shut-ins? Should we expect full page 419 and V11agRrr4 advertisements in future editions? The notion that this may indeed be the case is more than enough to keep me from ever cracking one of those books again which is kind of hilarious since I'd guess that it has been the better part of a decade since I've actually used a phone book as anything other than a doorstop. The question, I guess if there is a question in all of this murk, is whether advertisers are actually cognizant of the limited audience of phone book advertising and coaxed into coughing up cold cash by deceptive charts n' graphs or is there some nebulous cloud of commercial activity lurking the WTF Pages that I'm just not privy to?

I suspect that the tactic comes from artificially inflated distribution numbers similar to the scam that newspapers pull on advertisers but I'm no wizard of advertising dollar bingo so what do I know. Anyone got a good answer or a better and more crazy conspiracy theory?

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