Team Murder No Brain No Headache.

17Oct/07Off

Lap/Cat Manager Needed

Developers spend an inordinate amount of time developing window managers to make desktop usage more efficient or less annoying or sexier. I can deal with the number of options that already exist. What I really need is an application to manage the position of the cat on my lap while I'm using a computer. This would enhance the efficiency of the computer desktop a thousand fold.

Required features:

Virtual Laps

Sometimes I'm just not going to get a fucking thing done with a cat preventing me from moving or from even shifting my legs for that matter. What I could really use is a virtual lap to switch him over to when I need to move, breathe, or use the keyboard. This would have to be seamless in order to prevent Bug from waking up. This would also have flexible triggers such as key combinations, mouse wheel activation, et-cetera as sometimes ripping my arm free is impossible. Under OS X, bump activation might also work well as it would coincide with me slamming my head into the table in frustration to activate the switch.

Workspace Margins

The cat likes to move while he is sleeping and is lacking the proper design to prevent collisions and falls. The falls are disastrous because they usually involve frantic use of claws to gather some friction. This lap manager needs to implement real margins that keep the cat centered on my lap and prevent him from falling and possibly ripping my leg open in the process. This might also be effective for preventing the grabby paws versus coffee cup incidents and curb the nuisance of the twitchy paws entering other workspaces during dreams about chasing Leonard.

Snap To Grid

The aforementioned movement during sleep often places Bug in positions that not only risk him plummeting to the carpet but also subject me to leg cramps and inopportune hot spots. The snap to grid command should optimally re-center the cat to the lowest possible center of gravity and away from impeding the use of any limbs.

Log Out

Log out should happen within a matter of seconds and deposit the cat somewhere else safely without any intervention on my part.

There are probably some features missing here but, excepting the oh-so-necessary spray bottle desktop widget I think it is a fairly reasonable nascent effort at managing what cannot be managed.

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  1. Managing the unmanageable. Isn’t that one of your most marketable job skills?


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