Team Murder No Brain No Headache.

15Nov/07Off

It’s Time For Something (Anything) Else

Since Demonoid is currently being hassled out of existence I'm forced to use less savory sites to get my fix of unanthologized (or at least not published in the canonical graphic novel form since only pulp/noir wannabe gritty detective in the mean streets bullshit seems to earn that honor these days) comics from the 1990s. Unfortunately, they're not very well organized, have a user base slightly brighter than a chipped Pet Rock, and are really, really focused on pornography instead of anything remotely interesting for folks older than say nineteen. It involves a lot of sorting and a lot of advertising images that make the markeetering done on Myspace seem brilliant and innovative in comparison. In short, pornography is basically tedious shit cranked out for morons who are willing to deal with the formulaic construction so they can, completely heterosexually of course, watch all glassy eyed as giant throbbing penises spurt bulk rate semen over bored and listless faces that desire only moist towelettes and one more chance at graduating high school. Bleh.

What I'd like to propose is a consolidation of by-idiots, for-idiots exploit-tainment and bring together competition-based reality shows and pornography to create a bulletproof fucktard-geist of a hybrid (new) media entity. Seriously (sort of), why not combine them into something like American Bukkake Idol where contestants must pit their 'skillz' against one another competitively while struggling against a ravenous pack of fellow competitors and being humiliated by a panel of useless but vicious (or just plain drunk) judges only to ascend to the heights of the final round when one lucky participant gives it their all on the line shot at momentary and transitory glimpses of dignity. Then the bukkake and a bright future similar to that which all reality show contestants can look forward to with the possible exception being a possibility of more porn work perhaps as a fluffer. Reality shows have plenty of room for these sorts of annexation. Just keep away from that magician show with Uri Geller. No one needs to see that man naked, now or ever again.

The best part about all of this is the potential for the consolidation of slack jawed attention to be drawn to other places. While this might spell a sort of doom for Fark and Digg I think it is totally worth it and hope that the effect is lasting. If that fails we could always go the porn/crime scene investigation route, right?

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